Six months ago, I discovered Candy Crush. Played by millions, rotting our brains and digital teeth bit by sugar-encrusted bit—and wait, I have to ask friends for help? Friends? Honey, please, if I wanted to socialize with people I wouldn’t be so completely absorbed in my phone! No sir, I am above all that petty garbage. There is no space in my soul for the all-encompassing cavity that the Candy Crush saga wishes to cause.
Oh, wait, but then there’s Juice Cubes.
Call Juice Cubes Rovio’s (the makers of Angry Birds) answer to Candy Crush. All it took was a bit of insomnia, the Amazon App store, and a little curiosity to coddle and ignite the little spark that became my new addiction. I mean, for starters, look at the little guys you get to kill:
But then, when you lose, they cry.
You guys. The fruit. It cries.
The premise of Juice Cubes is simple (and very similar to that of Candy Crush). A bunch of these adorable little turds line up and you have to match them up. Matching up three fruit simply causes them to disappear, while matching four or more create increasingly powerful boosts (e.g. fruit that blows up more stuff). You start out with five lives and zero gold bars (although eventually the game doles out a pitiful eight bars), but you can buy more of both in the in-game store—along with several other game-enhancing goodies. There are a series of levels that form a map, and moving along to each progressive map requires payment in the form of gold bars.
There are a few negatives, however. As I mentioned before, you have to pay to purchase gold bars, which you need to move on in the game. You can ask your Facebook friends to give you pieces of the next map, but then you run the risk of becoming one of those obnoxious people who inundates friends with constant game requests.
I have run into a few little quirks here and there as well. For instance, at one point, the game wouldn’t create new boosts or allow the existing ones to work properly. In other words, the game behaved as if the entire board just consisted of regular fruit. Closing and re-opening the game fixed that though, and it only happened once.
It’s hard to believe that something so simple can be so addicting, but great things come in small packages.
Now go away, and leave me to my cubes of fruit.