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Dancing with the Stars: Celebrity Dance Duel


Posted May 6, 2014 by

After la fiesta grande of last week’s Latin Night, how would our beloved Dancing with the Stars top themselves? By bringing in Abby Lee Miller from TV’s Dance Moms. For those that have not seen it, Dance Moms is a reality show on Lifetime (TV for Women) about a kid’s dance company that is under attack from trolls. When I say trolls, I don’t mean loveable trolls like Shrek or even the fictional ones that live under a bridge and eat billy goats. No, the trolls on this show are largely the parents of the girls and the coach herself, Abby Lee Miller. Now, I am normally hesitant to call someone a bad name. (Unless that person is Billy Joel.) Let me explain why I say this.

Dance Moms (image courtesy of

Dance Moms (image courtesy of

Last week, when Dancing with the Stars announced that the guest judge this week would be Abby Lee Miller, I was curious. I had heard the name before but had no idea who she was, so I investigated Dance Moms. Needless to say, I was shocked and more than a little put off. The show itself is about a dance studio that teaches kids and teenagers to dance. It also has a fairly competitive dance team. It is that dance team that this show mostly deals with as the titular moms of the dancers look on. After watching a bit, I have issue with the show for three reasons.

  1. The show is promoting a hyper-competitive environment. While competition can be good and healthy, this type of competition at this young age does not seem to be. While I have no training in the world of psychology, dance, or physics; it is my opinion that a “winning is the only thing” mentality will not equate to a happy person.
  2. Many of the dance moves being performed and the costumes being worn by these young girls are just not appropriate for kids. Many of these moves being done are incredibly suggestive and the costumes just way too revealing. While I don’t want to come across as being prudish, I have a problem with it. As a parent, I would never let my child dance in this matter. To be certain, it is not just the dance troop on this show.
  3. The behavior of the adults is childish. From throwing chairs to slapping each other to just being flat out mean and nasty, the adults have the biggest problem. This includes the coach, Abby Lee Miller, who seems to almost enjoy making these girls cry.

But none of you came to read my manifesto against Dance Moms. You came for your weekly Dancing with the Stars recap. I promise, that is the last time I will get serious in this article.

This week’s Dancing with the Stars recap is brought to you by Brita Water Filters. “Go ahead and Brita up your water.”

In this week’s twist, in our star’s second dance, they will not have the luxury of their professional dancers but will be dancing with each other.  Since there are only two male dancers left in the competition…this will make the show quite interesting. Our show opens with a song by somebody, not exactly sure who it is. Like most of the music on this show, it is largely forgettable. (As it turns out, the singer is one of our dancers, Mark Ballas.)

The good news about having Abby Lee Miller as guest judge is that this week’s guest judge will not just be a virtual empty seat handing out good scores. Abby Lee Miller does seem to know what she is talking about when it comes to dance.

Charlie White

Celebrity Dance Duel

Charlie White (image courtesy of

Charlie had a rough week last week in that he didn’t get the perfect scores that he was looking for. Charlie and Sharna will be dancing the quick step. In our package, Charlie’s mom comes in and tries to cheer up Charlie. She should have taken him to Super Cuts after visiting. (Super Cuts, when you want to look like a manager at JC Penny.) On to the dance, the song that they are dancing to is Led Zepplin’s “Immigrant Song.” (Not really, but the music that they pick is rather bland so I will be replacing their songs with my own.) To my untrained eyes, Charlie did a good dance. At least one judge, Bruno (an avid Doctor Who fan, by the way) enjoyed the dance. Charlie got his first perfect score. Yay, Charlie.

Danica McKellar

Celebrity Dance Duel

Danica McKellar (image courtesy of

If you remember last week, Danica broke a rib. This week, they will be dancing the tango. How will the injury impact her dance? We will see. The package from this last week did not really provide any content, just that they were going to try. The tango that they dance has an obvious fairy tale theme. Why they chose to dance to “How Soon is Now” by The Smiths is a question that has to be asked. (They actually danced to an incredibly bad version of “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears but since I have already committed to the replacing the song that they actually danced to, I can’t turn back now.) The dance was very nice and the broken rib did not have an obvious impact. The pair get a 38.

Meryl Davis

Celebrity Dance Duel

Meryl Davis (image courtesy of

During our package on Meryl and her partner, we see that Maks had trouble with Meryl this week. At one point, she even clocked him in the jaw. They will be dancing a rumba this week to “Stonehenge” by Spinal Tap, a song that has long been a staple in the world of ball room dance. To say that this dance was beautiful would be an insult to the dance, which was almost perfection in motion. It was Jordan going for a slam dunk. It was a perfect moment in time. After the dance, Abby Lee Miller did have some critical comments to which Maks responded that he did not care for anything that she had to say. They got a 36.

Candace Cameron Brue

Celebrity Dance Duel

Candace Cameron Brue (image courtesy of

Candace and Mark are dancing the foxtrot this week. In the package, Mark calls Candace a turtle and she takes it as a complement. Their dance has a 1950’s vibe to it. The song that they danced to was “You All Everybody” by Drive Shaft. Man, they were a pretty good fake band. As for the dance, Candace and Mark did a good job. Because she is a person that is always looking for controversy, Abby Lee Miller says that if she were Mark, she would have just dropped Candace and walked away. She says that she was talking about the in choreography, but I have seen enough of Abby Lee Miller’s body of work to know that this statement was said to generate heat. The pair get 36 points, nines from each judge.

James Maslow

Celebrity Dance Duel

James Maslow (image courtesy of

After being teased as one of the ones leaving last week, James was nervous. James had a rough week, so he did what any one of us would do, he had the members of Big Time Rush show up. A manufactured Nickelodeon boy band makes everything better. Their dance was the Viennese Waltz to that Sarah McLaughlin song from the ASPCA commercials. Their dance was good, if a bit unremarkable to me. The judges gave them 36 points.

 Amy Purdy

Celebrity Dance Duel

Amy Purdy (image courtesy of

To alleviate anyone’s fears, Amy is OK. I was unable to concentrate all last week, worried about Amy. The package that was shown before their dance just brought back all those bad and painful memories from last week. This week, they will be dancing the Argentine tango to “Dual of the Fates” from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. While I did not care for that movie, I love the song. I feel it is one of John Williams’ best and that is saying a lot. As for the dance, you could sense the trepidation in Amy. The dance was fine, although not up to her normal quality. The judges did not agree with me. They thought that the dance was much better than I did, awarding them a perfect score of 40.

Celebrity Dance Duel #1

Meryl and Max are dancing with Danica and Val. The tension is so thick during this dance. It’s not only star versus star, but it’s brother against brother. It’s the Civil War of dance. To clarify, the Civil War that I am referring to is not the one from American history but instead the comic book mini-series from Marvel. One brother was for the hero registration act and the other was against it. To ensure that the two brothers get along, their grandmother showed up to make sure that the boys get along. The dance that the pair danced was the samba to the theme song from Battlestar Galactica. Not great. 34 points. Like last week, these scores will be added to the individual scores.

Celebrity Dance Duel #2

Charlie and Candace and their respective partners will be dancing together next. The dance style that they are doing is contemporary. In a surprising twist, they will be dancing to the sound of someone eating Laffy Taffy. This time, it was Candace that got popped in the face by Mark. The dance itself was very strange with Charlie doing lifts on Candace for the most part of their solo. This was a very dramatic and a very good dance, getting them 38 points.

Celebrity Dance Duel #3

Amy, James and their partners are dancing now for our final dance of the night. They will be dancing the jive this week. In the package we see that James fell on Amy this week, which is not something that should happen to anyone, let alone someone with a broken rib. Their jive is danced to the sound of the last remaining scraps of my dignity leaving my body in a sad and angry sigh. Good dance though. Best duel dance of the night for 39 points.

Now we are left with the big question…who is going home?

Leaving us this week is Danica and her partner. Originally when TheNerdyBomb started covering Dancing with the Stars, we did so because of the nerdy icons that were in the show this time. Billy Dee Williams was the first to leave, then nerd prototype Drew Carey and now the hot math genius, Danica. Don’t worry though, we have come this far. It would be a shame to stop the coverage now. Not when we are so close to the end. Semi-Finals are next week with guest judge Kenny Ortega.

For now though, this has been Nathan Gifford for TheNerdyBomb with our continuing coverage of Dancing with the Stars.

Nathan Gifford

Nathan lives in Cincinnati, Ohio with his wife, child and Zeus The Mighty, their dog. Nathan is a writer, a father, a songwriter, and a human.


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